from the mouth of babes
Adam 'Abstract' - Jun '03 Molly 'Flower' - Jun '03 Adam 'Puzzle' - Jun '03 Molly 'Girl' - Jun '03 Adam 'Swirl' - Jun '03 Empower Graphics
Humor Humor Humor Humor Creativity
my life,
my family
one-liners from the
mouth of babes
"quotes" confucious my life,
my graphics
(Rated G) (PG-13) (Rated G) (Rated R) (Rated R) (Rated G)
from the mouth of babes:
What is Love?
1 "When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." - Rebecca, age 8
2 "When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." - Karen, age 7
3 "When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth." - Billy, age 4
4 "Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." - Karl, age 5
5 "Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy, age 6
6 "Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." - Terri, age 4
7 "Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." - Danny, age 7
8 "Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss." - Emily, age 8
9 "Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." - Bobby, age 5
10 "If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," - Nikka, age 6
11 "There are two kinds of love. Our love. God's love. But God makes both kinds of them." - Jenny, age 4
12 "Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." - Noele, age 7
13 "Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." - Tommy, age 6
14 "During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore," - Cindy - age 8
15 "My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."-Claire, Age 5
16 "Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken." - Elaine, age 5
17 "Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." - Chris, age 8
18 "Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." - Mary Ann, age 4
19 "I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." - Lauren, age 4
20 "I let my big sister pick on me because my Mom says she only picks on me because she loves me. So I pick on my baby sister because I love her."- Bethany, age 4
21 "Love is when mommy sees daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." - Mark, age 6
22 "You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget," - Jessica - age 8
Letters to G-d
1 Dear GOD, Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't you just keep the ones you have? - Amy
2 Dear GOD, Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with me and my brother. - Larry
3 Dear GOD, If you watch me in Temple, I'll show You my new shoes. - Mickey
4 Dear GOD, I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it. - Nan
5 Dear GOD, In school they told us what You do. Who does your job when You are on vacation? - Jane
6 Dear GOD, I read the Bible. What does "begat" mean? Nobody will tell me. - Love Alison
7 Dear GOD, Are You really invisible or is it just a trick? - Lucy
8 Dear GOD, Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house? - Anita
9 Dear GOD, Did You mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? - Norma
10 Dear GOD, Who draws the lines around the countries? - Jan
11 Dear GOD, I went to this wedding and they kissed right in Church. Is that okay? - Neal
12 Dear GOD, What does it mean, You are a jealous GOD? I thought You had everything. - Jane
13 Dear GOD, Did You really mean "do unto others as they do unto you?" because if You did, then I'm going to fix my brother. - Darla
14 Dear GOD, Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy. - Joyce
15 Dear GOD, It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about You that people are not supposed to say, but I hope you will not hurt him anyway. Your friend, (But I am not going to tell You who I am.)
16 Dear GOD, Why is Sunday school on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest. - Tom L.
17 Dear GOD, Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up. - Leah
18 Dear GOD, If we come back as something else, Please don't let me be Jennifer Horton, because I hate her. - Denise.
19 Dear GOD, If You give me a genie like Aladdin, I will give You anything You want, except my money or my chess set. - Raphael
20 Dear GOD, My brother is a rat! You should give him a tail. Ha ha! - Danny
21 Dear GOD, I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big but not with so much hair all over. - Tom
22 Dear GOD, You don't have to worry about me. I always look both ways. - Dean
23 Dear GOD, I think the stapler is one of your greatest inventions. - Ruth M.
24 Dear GOD, I think about You sometimes even when I'm not praying. - Elliott
25 Dear GOD, Of all the people who work for You I like Noah and David the best. - Bob
26 Dear GOD, My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound right. He's just kidding, isn't he? - Marsha
27 Dear GOD, I would like to live 900 years like the guy in the Bible. - Love Chris
28 Dear GOD, We read Thomas Edison made light! But in Sunday school they said You did it. So I bet he stole your idea. - Sincerely, Donna
29 Dear GOD, The bad people laughed at Noah, "You made an ark on dry land, you fool." But he was smart, he stuck with You. That's what I would do. - Eddie
30 Dear GOD, I do not think anybody could be a better GOD. Well I just want You to know but I am not just saying that because You are GOD already. Charles.
31 Dear GOD, I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset You made on Tuesday. That was cool. - Eugene
Science Questions & Answers
1 Q: Name the four seasons
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
2 Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
3 Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
4 Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
5 Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
6 Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
7 Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
8 Q What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
9 Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
10 Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
11 Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.
12 Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
13 Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.
14 Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.
15 Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

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